Dead Silent Night
by Northman Maille
Summary: Written as a Secret Santa fic for the lovely Moxiemo. It's Eric and Sookie's first Christmas together and they both want to make it perfect. Dark days are looming though, will Eric listen to Sookie before its too late?


Dead Silent Night

_This story is for Moxiemo; I am a huge fan of her work, and it is an honour to write for her...I was also scared to death. I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas (or whatever you celebrate), and a very healthy, happy and peaceful 2012._

_Big thanks to my beta, and dear friend, Northwoman._

_These characters are the property of Charlaine Harris, I just took them Christmas shopping..._

The radio was on inside the house and I could hear the DJ counting down the hours to midnight. He was wishing all his listeners a peaceful and joyful Christmas. Goodwill to all men.

"Huh, I'd settle for any one of those things." I said.

Despite the fact I was talking to myself, I'm not crazy. Of course, most of the folks in Bon Temps would disagree...but they don't know anything about me. Crazy Sookie Stackhouse, that's what they call me, especially now my Gran is no longer around to chew them out.

I was sitting on the porch of my farmhouse and it was Christmas Eve. No one should be alone at this time, right? If you saw me, you'd think I'd have loads of family and friends around me. I'm nearly 28 years old, quite pretty in a small town way, and live alone out here in the woods. Unless you count my cousin and great uncle...and at the moment, I don't.

It was all so different once. The Christmas before I turned six was the happiest I could remember. The house was full to bursting with my Grandparents, my Mom and Dad, my older brother Jason, and my aunt and uncle with their daughter, Hadley.

Gran was less than a year from becoming a widow. Jason and I would be orphans before two years had passed. Later they would all die, all except Jason and me. The last of the Stackhouses. Only we aren't, not really.

Maybe that explains why this house is no longer full of peace and goodwill. Perhaps it knows the last of the Stackhouses died with Grandpa Mitchell. I shook myself free of this dumb idea, as much as I loved the place, it was just an old farmhouse in the woods. It didn't understand my situation.

It wasn't the only one...

You see my Gran, her name was Adele, had children with a man who wasn't her husband. He wasn't even completely human, a human fairy hybrid called Fintan Brigant.

Yep, fairies exist. Maybe you're not a whole lot surprised...after all you know about Vampires and the two natured right?

It's just as well; I told you I wasn't mad. Try to keep that in mind when I explain the rest...

Ever since I can remember, I've been able to read the minds of others. My parents tried to explain it away in all sorts of ways, even deciding I was exceptionally good at reading a person's body language. They sent me to specialist after specialist but, of course, they all said I was making it up, even the ones I proved myself to, beyond any doubt. The only person who believed me without question was my Gran. She took Jason and me in after our parents died, and she taught me to keep my disability to myself.

I can only read humans clearly, Weres and the two natured are harder, and I can't read Vampires at all, a fact which has kept me alive.

I heard the burble of a high-powered engine as it turned onto Hummingbird Road from the Parish road. Soon I was able to see the headlights through the trees; my husband was on his way. I know what you're thinking- 'wait a minute, didn't she say she lived alone?' That's right I did. Eric isn't a normal husband; we aren't even married according to the State of Louisiana. My nearest and dearest is the Vampire Sheriff in this area, second only to the King of the entire state. Vampires are somewhat backwards about the ideals of a republic...

The Corvette came to a halt next to where I am sitting and Eric started to get out. I say 'started to' because he's a huge guy and this is a pretty small car, it's quite a sight watching all six feet four inches of him unfold from the driver's seat.

In a couple of large steps, he was standing before me.

'Why are you sitting outside, my Love?'

I smiled at him, 'It's not cold Eric, not with my coat. I've been working the lunch shift and it was real busy, being Christmas. I like sitting out here to clear my head.'

He smiled and reached for me with his free hand. The other was holding a large bag, made out of fancy gold paper and bulging at the seams. 'Come inside Sookie, it is midnight in one hour and we can exchange our gifts.'

I stood up and allowed him to lead me into the house, admiring his rear view on the way; Eric has the best butt in the whole world, in my opinion.

He looked over his shoulder and smiled, 'Do not think I cannot see you, checking me out like a piece of meat. You women only think of one thing.'

'Yeah, yeah,' I said. 'Eric, why do you have so many gifts? We had an arrangement!' not that I was planning to stick to it, the money my cousin Claudine left to me made things much easier, and I was determined to buy something nice for Eric.

'If I remember correctly Sookie, we agreed a $100 limit for our gifts. I can assure you, nothing in this bag cost more than that.' He said.

'Now look here, Mister!' Eric's eyebrows rose at the name, 'You know perfectly well, the limit was a hundred bucks in total, not per gift!'

He rubbed the back of his neck and tried to look innocent. Not easy when you are a 1000 year old Viking Vampire, one who has probably killed hundreds in his time.

'Are you sure, Lover?'

I grunted at him, knowing I wouldn't win this one, and ushered him into the sitting room and indicated he should sit on the sofa. I sat next to him, after offering him a True Blood, which he declined. There was something I needed to say to him, and I knew he wouldn't like it, but I was determined not to be put off. This might be our first proper Christmas together, but if we didn't take action, it would be our last too.

I held his hand and shuffled round so I was facing him. Looking into his blue eyes and smelling his cologne, I wanted nothing more than to just exchange our gifts and then drag him off to bed. Eric was always ready to oblige in that respect and I knew he'd far prefer that to talking about our latest predicament...

'Sookie, what is it? Are you truly annoyed at my small deception? If you like, I could-'

'No, no it's okay honey, it's not that, but you're right, I do have something on my mind. I really need to talk to you about the Queen and-'

This time he interrupted me.

'Lover, I have the situation in hand, I assure you. Surely you don't want to spend our time together talking about something unpleasant? There is really no need for you to worry.'

'I know you don't want to talk about it; I expected that,' I answered, 'but I really think I have a solution to the problem. We have over an hour until midnight, could I please just explain my plan to you, and then we can forget about it all and enjoy ourselves?' I made sure to say the last words with a slight stress and, what I hoped, was a sexy smile. Eric sighed.

'If it would settle your mind, then I am prepared to listen. With one proviso! I do not wish to argue tonight and, if it seems to me we are heading that way, then I would like to end the discussion until another time.' He sat back, looking pleased with himself.

I glared at him but said 'Okay, I don't want to fight either, but there is something I want to show you, I think it could be important.' I put a box on the sofa between Eric and me, it was one I'd found up in the attic when I'd been clearing up, and it contained family pictures. I extracted four, all of them with the same woman and man, standing side by side, and all taken outside this house, but at different times. I pushed them over to Eric.

'Do you notice anything about these photographs?' I asked him.

He looked at me for a moment and then began examining the prints. He turned them over and looked at the backs first, 'Am I correct in thinking the couple are your paternal grandparents?' he asked.

I nodded. 'Look at the images themselves Eric, that's what matters.'

He gazed at them for a few moments more; Eric was nothing if not methodical. Finally, he divided them into two groups, one picture in one and three in the other. 'This picture,' he said, tapping the lone one, 'the male in it is not the same as the other three.'

Humph! Damned smug Vampire! 'What makes you say that?'

'It is subtle, but his stance is slightly different but the biggest difference is the size of the feet. Explain this to me.'

'I'm going to,' I said, 'but this is a secret and I'd appreciate you respecting that. These three are pictures of my Gran and her husband, Mitchell Stackhouse. The other one is her and-'

'The fairy, Fintan.' He said quietly.

'Yes!' I said, although I was a bit put out how he'd ruined my big reveal. 'I didn't realise until Uncle Dermot pointed it out, he said it was Fintan's idea of a joke, but he was careless with the details. This could be the answer to our problem with Oklahoma! You told me there could only be one marriage didn't you? So I'm assuming that if Freyda married another man and had sex with him that would make this stupid contract void?'

'Yes, but Sookie-'

'No Eric! Please hear me out. If we can get Dermot or even Claude to pose as you at the wedding and then somehow change back before they have to consummate the marriage, they could take a picture of themselves with her, after she dies for the day if nothing else and prove it wasn't you who married her! We'd have to make sure you had an alibi, stage a kidnapping or something, but there's no way she could enforce the agreement if she was pledged to someone else, could she?'

I fell silent; I was out of breath after my impassioned plea and could wait for Eric to congratulate me on my brilliance...

'Sookie, I can see you have thought this through very carefully and it is a very clever plan.' He said this quietly, as if he was speaking to a little kid, I struggled to rein in my temper, and to argue would just mean he'd call time on our discussion.

'Go on then, hit me with it. Why is my plan so stupid you won't even consider it?' Well I did say I struggled.

'It is not at all stupid, but it does not take in a few vital points. First of all, how do we get a fairy and his scent into a nest of Vampires? You are only one eighth so you just smell very good, Dermot is half and Claude is a full blood, there is no way any Vampire would miss that.' He stroked my hand.

'Niall can mask his scent! I know he's not around but if he can do it, why can't they?' I asked stubbornly.

'The Prince is very old, the leader of his people and very skilled in Fae magic. Even if it were possible to contact him and there was some way he could help, as soon as the blood was spilled there would be anarchy.'

Oh arsenic and old lace! I hadn't considered the part of the pledging ceremony where each party shares blood. Eric was right, there was no way Dermot or Claude would ever get out of there alive, not that either of them had even been asked, let alone agreed. I collapsed against the cushions, totally discouraged.

'Sookie, I promise you I have a plan. There is no way I am allowing anyone to take me away from you. Queen or no.'

I sighed, 'Nothing is ever normal with us, and don't go saying we are not a normal couple. Your Maker is ended and I think there is no one who can say they own you ever again, and up pops this stupid agreement he made to _sell _you. How can you be sold? You're a person, not a, a cup of coffee! Then we get rid of Victor, thinking we can get the King to help us and he won't even take your calls. I can't take anymore Eric.'

He pulled me close, 'I know this has been frightening and difficult for you, that you've had to do things you think are wrong, but I really do have an idea of how we can stop-'

'But you've been saying that all along! And nothing has worked. Why does she even want you anyway? It makes no sense.'

'You do not think my charisma and incredible good looks should be reason enough?' He was trying to soothe me but instead he just made me more upset.

'Please don't joke about it. I've lain awake at night for weeks trying to work it out. Yeah you're plenty big and strong but she's older and stronger and she has Vampires that are that way too, it can't be because you are the best fighter ever. You admitted yourself, you weren't sure if you could take Victor out alone.' He looked like he was about to interrupt so I ploughed on. 'I don't say these things to be mean Eric, but they are true. I thought _what is it that every Vampire wants?_ And the answer I came up with was 'power'. If Freyda was looking to extend her Kingdom, she might think you could provide the best intelligence on how to take Felipe. But even that doesn't make a lot of sense...she wouldn't need to marry you for that, and she definitely wouldn't be offering you a share of her Kingdom when it wasn't a part of the contract.'

'So, what conclusion have you come to?' He asked, carefully.

'What is the one thing Eric Northman has that she could possibly want?' There was a silence, it was clear Eric did not intend to answer.

'He has _me. _Eric you have to tell her we are not bonded anymore and you have no hold over me; she must think she will get me as a two for one!'

'Sookie, you know I cannot reveal that. If Felipe discovers our bond is broken, he will take you and I will not be able to stop him. Freyda will take me anyway, if she plans to overthrow him, that way she has me and she will inherit you. In fact, it is vital we immediately reinstate our bond, not tell anyone we don't have one!'

'Oh no, no, nope.' I was shaking my head and this was getting real close to a fight, 'I know I love you for you; now we have no need of a bond. Before you start saying it will provide protection for me, we both know that is a pile of horse puckey! If someone was to attack me it would take you at least 15 minutes to fly here, and that's only after dark.'

'Granted, but what about sensing your emotions and being able to track you, can you say these are not useful skills to have?' he replied

'Yes, frankly, I can! The last time you sensed I was in danger, you just made everything worse. The time thing still applies too. As for tracking me, you can still do that if you have my blood, you can sense me to a certain extent too, and why are you insisting on the damned blood bond? I only did it last time because you were the best of a bad lot!'

Okay, I'd gone further than I intended, but everything I'd said was true. I looked at Eric but he refused to meet my eyes, why did every serious discussion we have end up in a fight? Today of all days.

'Why Eric? Why does it mean so much?'

For a horrible moment I thought he was going to get up and leave, he lent forward and pressed his hands to his knees, but then he turned his head to me.

I had to strain to hear him when he said, 'It's the hole...I can't...it does not matter.'

'Nuh uh, you're not getting away with that.' I said in a lot softer tone, 'What do you mean a hole?'

'As much as I tried not to think about it, for over 800 years I had no one who cared whether I lived or died. Even when I made Pam, her feelings for me were those of a Vampire toward her Maker. There is no comparison in human relationships but the bond is as far from romantic as night is from day.' He paused.

'I do understand honey, you know that.'

'But _that's just it, _Sookie! You do not, you have suffered terribly in your life but there has always been someone who cares. I know Jason is not much of a brother, but he loves you in his own way, there is Tara, Sam, Pam and me. Even Bill Compton, I believe he genuinely loved you. Whom did I have? Appius? Ha...But that changed when I fell in love with you. For the first time since I was human, someone loved me for who I was, despite all my faults. Your goodness and your warmth, they filled the void in me, and the bond told me so. Every day, it told me so.' He looked at me, his eyes were dry and cold, gazing into them, he looked somehow reptilian and every second of those thousand years. 'Now it's gone, and I cannot convince myself nothing has changed-'

'But that's ridiculous, Eric! I wasn't in love with you when the stupid bond was made; I love you more now than I ever have.'

He muttered something; I couldn't understand and asked him to repeat himself.

'I said it is not stupid to me. All I ask is you think about it, please my wife, just consider what I say.'

I leaned into him and cupped his face, 'I will, I give you my word. You have to believe me though; we don't need it to prove we love each other, if you look into yourself it's still there.'

The kiss he pressed on me was slow and tender. At first, it seemed as though he was trying to hold something back, occupying his lips before they betrayed him. I couldn't bring myself to feel guilty about not agreeing to share blood, although I do regret breaking the bond without telling him. I vowed to put a significant amount of effort into making sure he knew, without a doubt, I cared; with my whole heart and soul.'

As we kissed, I thought back to something, which happened not long before Amelia, Bob, and I used the spell to end the bond. I had arranged to visit Eric at Fangtasia and, when I arrived, he was sitting at his table speaking to a strange Vampire. I don't know where the impulse came from, but when the two men stood, I said 'Hello, I'm Sookie Northman, how nice to meet you.'

If I had not spent years schooling my physical reactions to hide things I picked up with my telepathy, I think I may have staggered. Eric's emotions hit me like a body of water where the tide never goes out, any lessening just one push after another. Shock, followed by pride and then a huge roll of love, so big I nearly forgot how to breathe. I managed to keep control, and neither Eric nor I mentioned it, but it made a large impact on my psyche. How I, just a young woman who accidentally fell in love with a vampire, could have such an effect on a magical creature, born a hundred centuries before me. Maybe I need to take into consideration the influence my humanity has on Eric.

'Would you like to open your gifts now?' I almost called him husband, but I knew it would seem too contrived right now. 'I'm real excited to see how you like yours and to see what Santa bought for me. After all; I've been a very good girl this year.'

'The gift I really wish to open is wrapped in a red dress.' The usual Eric smirk was back. In anyone else, this would have seemed like an odd turn around, but Eric had so obviously not wanted to talk about what was bothering him. It was pretty likely he regretted showing so much emotion too; he was more than happy to make an excuse to move on and pretend it didn't happen.

'Now, now, you can wait for that part.' I winked suggestively, or at least that was the plan, I probably looked like I had something in my eye...

I reached under the sofa and pulled out the box I'd used to hide his gifts. 'You first,' I said, 'I've been dying to see what you think of this. No pun intended.' I handed Eric a wooden box, I'd had it specially made for the contents, and it had a lovely design of ivy leaves carved into the lid.

'Fidelity, friendship and love.' He said, looking at the box, 'it is beautiful Lover, thank you.'

'There's something inside, too,' I said, 'but what do you mean? The ivy means all that?'

'Yes, indeed,' he said, opening the box with a look of anticipation.

'Then it's perfect for you,' I answered, no time like the present to start reassuring my big Vampire of my feelings.

He smiled as he pushed through the wood shavings protecting the real gift. As he drew it out, I was amazed all over again at the beauty of it. Eric held a clear glass bottle, about eight inches in length; it was sealed with a cork. Inside a boat sailed on a glassy grey and blue sea. Apart from the sails, the whole thing had been made of glass by an artist I'd found on the internet. By the look on his face, I'd found the perfect gift...

'This is the same kind of ship we used to go a Viking,' he said, looking at me with shining eyes. 'Sookie, it is wonderful. Thank you, my darling! I shall treasure it, forever.'

Trying not to think about how a definition of 'forever' applied to us, I said, 'I researched the boat on the internet and at the main library in Shreveport; I wanted it to be perfect.'

'And it is. However, this is no boat, this is a _ship_, and it took many men and a long time to build such a thing. Our enemies were as afraid of our ships, coming out of the sea mist like dragons, as they were of us! How did it get into there?'

I laughed, telling him I didn't know. Now I was trying not to think about what Eric would have been like in those days... well no one wants to think of her honey as a killer, right.

'I'm glad you like it, sugar.'

'Yours now!' he said, and his voice was almost singsong in its quality, who knew Eric loved Christmas?

'Honey, did you celebrate at this time of the year? I mean I know it wasn't Christmas...but-'

'It was not, but our Yule festival was celebrated at the same time. Many scholars believe the date of Christ's birth was altered to fit in with the Pagan celebrations across the world, all evidence suggests Jesus of Nazareth was born in the Spring.'

I was just digesting that tit bit when he went on...

'I was one of the tallest of my people so I would dress as Old Man Winter, I grew my beard specially, and I would go around the village from home to home, spreading small treats and symbols. Did you know it was the Norsemen who brought the tradition of Father Christmas to Britain?' He didn't wait for my answer, he was on a roll, 'For my children I would make a _julbock_, a Yule goat, from wood. After they went to sleep, I would leave it by the fireplace, next to the Yule Log my wife had made. Then I would go outside and place an old boot on the roof and fill it with sweet treats and little carved toys for my little ones.'

I was touched but I didn't want Eric to dwell on what he had lost, especially after his earlier outburst. I said, playfully, 'And did you have mistletoe?'

He shuddered, not something I was expecting, 'We believed it could resurrect the dead; I would not have it in the house.'

'It's a good job I didn't get any then.'

He reached into his big, sparkly bag, no doubt Pam had a hand in that, and brought out a large gift, carefully wrapped.

'I made this for you myself,' he said proudly, 'I cannot be accused of breaking our vow with this!' Typical Eric always has to be one up, but I loved him for it. Most of the time anyway...

I carefully opened the paper, while Eric fairly fidgeted his way off the sofa, telling me it was only gift- wrap. What I found inside fairly took my breath away...He'd recreated this house, right down to the smallest detail, the porch rail which leaned off to one side. I didn't know how to respond. Eric reached around the back of the house and did something that made the hallway and sitting room fill with light, on the small house, I mean.

'It looks just as it did the night you took me in from the road. At the time, it was the only home I had ever known, I love this house, Sookie; it's only fitting I should make you this.'

Rather than speaking, I set the model down on the floor, well away from our feet, and threw myself at him. I was in tears before I even landed.

'Are these the tears that signify I have done a good thing and you are happy?' he asked, a touch worriedly? Eric would gaily go into battle with a score of murderous Vampires, but a woman crying...Well, it kind of freaked him out some.

'Of course they are! This is the most perfectest, most thoughtful, loving, amazingest gift ever!' I cried, my grammar going out the window.

'What an odd little thing you are.'

That was a back handed compliment if ever I heard one! I grinned at him and kissed his cheek.

'Sookie unwrapping now?' he asked in a hopeful voice. My goodness he was cute...

'I have something else for you before that. Another gift.' I said I was ignoring the $100 rule and I was glad I had, Eric's gift to me was priceless. I handed him a green leather box, I hadn't wrapped it because it looked so elegant as it was. He opened it slowly and a look of pleasure spread across his handsome face.

'I do love to see you in French cuffs,' I said, ' they are so sexy, but I noticed you only have one set of plain cufflinks...' I trailed off as he pulled them carefully from the cushion they were pinned to. I'd worked with the glass artist and a friend of hers who worked in silver normally. They were used to requests from Vampires and had started a range made of steel. The artist had made two glass cabochons, exactly the same colour as Eric's eyes, and the friend has set them in, plain but elegant, cufflinks.

'If you find them sexy, I think I shall have to wear a shirt with proper cuffs whenever I see you, 'he laughed.

'No offence honey, but I know you really don't like wearing suits, but I love you in jeans anyway. That's not to say you don't look sexy in anything...' I was moving my hand along his thigh. Tonight he looked especially delicious, he'd brushed his long hair until it shone and it fell over the shoulders of his battered leather jacket. Underneath he wore a grey tank, sluttily low at the front, with his (and mine) favourite jeans. The ones that used to be dark blue but had worn lighter in some very interesting places, he once told me they were originals from way back. He'd taken his boots off in the hall, as was his custom, and I kind of wished he hadn't. I loved those boots, black leather cowboy boots with just the right amount of tooling on the front. They had low heels which took him past six foot seven in height...yum.

'As much as it pains me to stop you, Lover, there is one more gift for you too.' He reached into the bag, pushing something aside with the words, 'That shouldn't be in here...'

'What shouldn't?' I cried. Hey when you've been staked, shot at, bitten and blown up as often as me you tend to be a bit jumpy!

'It is nothing to alarm you, sweet one, just a gift for Pam that should be in another bag.'

'Oooh what did you buy for her?'

'It is a music DVD, by some young singer I'd never heard of, Justin Bieber.' He replied.

'Pam is a beliber?' I screeched.

'What is wrong with your mouth Sookie, you said be-'

'I know what I said! That's what they call themselves, belibers. Surely she isn't a fan, it's a gag right?'

'A gag? Really Lover, you make no sense, are you suggesting I should prevent my child talking by putting a DVD in her mouth? Can I tell her, she would love it; she's quite kinky, you know?'

I sighed, a thousand years spent all over the world, you think he'd picked up some more modern expressions! I told him so, explaining a gag gift was kind of like a practical joke, I was halfway through my explanation when I felt him laughing. The big goof was teasing me! I elbowed him sharply in the ribs, just making him laugh harder.

'You've heard that expression then?' I asked, with a definite 'tone' to my voice.

'Oh my sweet,' the pig was still chuckling, 'you are so easy to reel in. The word is very old, it comes from the word 'gaggen' in Middle English, it is thought to imitate the sound made when someone was gagged, I do know it means something of a comedic nature though, I am not so insular as you think...'

That's my Eric, a walking talking Encyclopaedia. 'Yeah, yeah, smart ass.' I replied.

'I do have a smart ass, you have mentioned it before. Now where is this, aha!'

Oh Jesus, Shepherd of Judea, it was a ring box! How could he just spring this on me? What was I going to say? I noticed he was looking at me, expectantly, the box still in his hand.

'Sookie, are you well?'

'No! What? Yes, of course, I'm fine, I was just wondering how far over the limit you've gone this time; that's a real pretty box.'

'Hmmm, first of all I do not think you are in any position to criticise my spending madam, and secondly I can prove it was under the limit, I have a receipt! Now open it please?'

I did, very slowly, and managed not to let out a sigh of relief when I saw the contents. Inside was a very delicate chain in what looked to be white gold, it held a pendant, shaped like a pea pod and inside were two perfect white pearls. I looked up at Eric.

'Just like us.' He said.

I thought about it, was he right? We were so different really, the biggest age gap ever, different races, religions, even species too! In lots of other ways we were so alike, we lost our families when we were young, experienced abuse and loneliness, knew what it was to be looked down on for being different, even feared. Sometimes I thought he was the only person I could rely on. I trusted him and he'd called that crazy, but I know what he is and I know _in what ways _he can be trusted. Even without reading his mind, he was as closed to me as I was to him, he couldn't glamour me after all. I started to cry again.

'More happy tears?' he asked.

'Nooooo.' I practically wailed.

'No?' now he did sound panicked. 'I knew you wouldn't like it, I should have just bought you a ring like I had planned-'

'You wanted to buy me a ring?' This set off renewed tears.

'Please don't cry, I really do have the receipt. Look I'll confess! I spent $1,300 on Pam's main gift and the jeweller agreed to sell me this at a discount and mark the receipt for $99.99. Sookie, please tell me what I've done wrong; I cannot put it right unless you do.'

'You can't put it right, that's just it! I love the gift and you are right, we are the same, it makes it worse though, don't you see? I can't lose you to Oklahoma now I've realised all this, especially now. What the fuck are we going to do?' Okay so I cursed, I think Gran would understand. 'Is there no way we can use my plan?'

'Sookie, I told you, I have the solution. I didn't want to bother you with this tonight, but there is no way I am going to Oklahoma, it's all settled.'

'What!' I really did screech this time, 'why the Joe Balls didn't you tell me sooner?'

He sighed, 'Because I didn't want to start a fight.'

'Why would such great news do that?' He looked guilty. 'I think, Eric Northman, you better tell me everything and right now!'

'I will, but you have to give me your word you will hear me out. I am sure you will think it a stupid idea, but please, give me a chance to tell it.'

He had a point really; I have a habit of flying off the handle before I've really thought about it. In my defence, this is only my second proper relationship. I may be 28 next year but in dating terms I am about 17, a 17 year old that has seen and heard an awful lot...

'As long as _you_ give me _your_ word you will tell me the truth and not leave things out because you don't think I am ready to hear them!' I retorted.

'There is nothing like that; it is all fairly straightforward.' He settled me next to him on the sofa so I was cuddled into his chest and began to talk. He was using his 'soothing Sookie in case of a fight' voice, patronising huh?

'I explained to you that Felipe de Castro has the ability to object to this union on the grounds I am one of his Sheriffs, having shown fealty to him, and losing me would have an adverse effect on his Kingdom.'

'But couldn't Freyda just decide to ignore him?' I asked.

'She could yes, but it would cause serious discord between the two Kingdoms and I do not believe she is ready to take on Felipe. If she didn't back down, then the case would go before the Ancient Pythoness, and I think the Lady quite took a shine to you, my love.' He smiled.

He was right, the Pythoness had allowed me to speak at the trial of Queen Sophie- Ann of Louisiana, an unheard of thing for a human to do. They weren't even allowed to attend under normal circumstances. I liked the Lady too, I found her no nonsense attitude appealing. I nodded for him to go on.

'I finally managed to get through to Felipe, after Victor's final death and met with him in New Orleans, Pam was there too. He did not seem too concerned about Madden; we are sure he didn't trust him. He pretended to completely believe our story, I think he was just pleased someone other than him had taken Victor out. He did have concerns though. The new Vampire League of America has been on his back about Alexei.'

Alexei was the last of the Romanovs, a deeply disturbed child too. Eric's Maker Appius, with his usual kindness and compassion, had turned him as his whole family lay dying around him, then further messed with the boy's head by taking him as a lover, even though he was barely a teenager. They were both dead now, Alexei was practically put down like a mad dog and Appius was killed during the fight. I had been sorry for the boy, but for Appius I only felt terribly unChristian hate.

'Alexei killed humans and Vampires that night, and someone; I am sure it was Victor, managed to get pictures of the scene and gave the story to the press. As you can imagine, it has done much harm to Vampire human relations in Louisiana. As we were speaking with Felipe, Pam broke into the conversation with a suggestion, at first I was angry at her insubordination, but now I am very grateful.' He took a deep breath, 'she made a deal with the King, if she and I could find something to turn the tide of public opinion and make us popular, would he agree to stand up for me against Oklahoma. He agreed!'

'Oh Eric, that is amazing! Why the heck didn't you tell me sooner? You said you didn't want to fight but this news makes me want to kiss you, and Pam!' I cried.

'Hold that thought little Fae, because there is more to be told. Pam and I have come up with a truly brilliant idea, a Vampire human talk show! It will be an hour long and go out on prime time T.V, Felipe has shares in a network. For half an hour, Pam will interrogate a human guest and I will do the same for the rest of the time. We will compete to get the best guests and the audience will vote on who did the better interrogation. It will be called 'Interview with a Vampire', there was a movie with the short human who pretends not to be-' I stopped him there.

'Yes, I know the one, Honey, but you really can't be saying that stuff on T.V., you'd get sued.' Eric just 'humphed' in response. 'Surely it will be easy to get good guests for the interview, you really have to stop calling it an interrogation, by the way, all you will do is have the necessary people glamoured.'

'Sookie, as always you have seen right to the solution,' he said, 'however we will be unable to use glamour. Mr. and Mrs. America know little about our powers and we wish to keep it that way. It would not do for an already alarmed community to know a Vampire can bend them to his or her will just by catching their gaze. No, I am afraid we will have to resort to old-fashioned methods, money, false promises and lots of charm. I will win at getting the best guests; I am naturally charismatic and considered quite handsome, I believe.' He was preening slightly, even though we were the only ones in the room. Got to admire him, I used to call him complacent, but he pointed out confidence with a basis can't really be called complacency. It made sense in a very Eric kind of way.

'So no special powers at all, other than how you and Pam look and how charming you can be to the P.R. people and the celebrities themselves? I dunno Eric..,'

'Sookie, I did not say no special powers, just no glamouring because it would be sure to get out, with so many humans involved. Here is the part where you need to hear me out, Lover.'

'If you think-' but then I looked at his face and I realised I'd assured him I'd hear him out...but I didn't like how this was going. _At all..._

'I must have some advantage over Pam, other than my looks and superior social status. A lot of the truly big names, like President Obama -,' I had to bite my tongue to prevent myself from laughing at his over ambition,'- are men, and she is a very beautiful Vampire. She is also able to seem less threatening because of her femininity and size, they will underestimate her and she will go in for the kill. Before they know what is happening they will have revealed a second family in Ohio and several secret, and illegal, off shore accounts. I need an edge, a tactical advantage, an ally...'

I just looked at him, I was sure I knew what was coming next...

'I will be wearing an earpiece when I interro- interview the guests, to enable the director to talk to me. I have decided it would be good if you were to sit off stage somewhere but still quite close. If I asked the guest a question like 'what is it you hated being asked about?' he or she will give us a sanitised answer, but they will _think_ about something that really should not be made public. You tell me what it is, and if it is something I can use, I will ask my next question as though I already have knowledge. They will not risk lying on live T.V. on the off chance we really have dug up some evidence. You will be able to coach me through the whole interview. Is it not a brilliant idea? Pam will not stand a chance!'

He looked as proud as punch; it's a pity I was about to piss on his bonfire...

'Eric that is immoral! I can't do that, people deserve their privacy, they won't know you have a telepath to help you, if they did they wouldn't come!'

'Of course not, my clever wife,' he said, scooting still closer, 'I will not ask anything too dangerous, all we need is some spicy gossip, like the real reason X got married, was it all for the cameras or was it for real. There will be no fooling the Northmans! Tell me you will help me, Lover, I so wish to remain here with you...this is the only way we know.' He was going for the puppy dog look and making a very good job of it...

'It's so unfair to put that on me! You know I love you and I love Pam, I don't want you to go to Oklahoma, but this is against everything I was reared to believe-'

'Did your Grandmother not teach you to fight for your man, to keep your family together; to be a strong Southern woman?'

'Oh, you did not just bring Gran into this!' I said.

'Of course I did, she taught you to stand up for what you believe in.' He began to stroke my hair away from my neck, even though I tried to shy away, when he began to kiss my ear I knew the type of persuasion he was going to use.

'I would do anything for you my Love, allow me to relax you to enable you to make a calm decision...'

'I have already made my, uh my decision.' I don't think Eric was really listening.

As he slid his hand under my shirt and began to walk his fingers up my ribcage; I knew it was going to be a long night.

THE END.

_Who would you have Eric and Pam interview, and what would you ask? If you enjoyed this please review, it's such a thrill to get them!_


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